This morning, Dayhan was starting his day and as he was leaving our bedroom, he asked me if he should leave the door ajar. I replied: “No, I hate when the door is open, I always leave it open for your pleasure.” So he shut the door and went on his merry way.

It got me thinking. Do I really *hate* the door open? Aren’t there things far worse to hate? I then realized that I use the word hate a lot more often than I should. I think in our generation we are all somewhat guilty of that. Do we actually hate the things we say we hate? Why don’t we ‘dislike’ anything and instead choose to ‘hate’ it. Do I truly hate the snow? How about spiders? Or people who make me wait? Is it ok to hate such things? What if we made a conscious decision to only hate the really horrible things? What if, instead of harboring such negativity we can work on merely disliking the unpleasant stuff. You will always find someone who can give you the “Gd created it, so we should love it” speech, and as much as I’d love to love everything in this world, I’m just not that holy. We are constantly told to be positive and to love, not hate but realistically you can’t love something that you dislike. So instead, I will consciously dislike the unpleasant things and I’ll save the hate for the things that are hate-worthy like anti-semitism and deadly diseases. 

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Annette Cohen